


Breathe

by GachMoBrea



Series: My Father, Barry Allen [19]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: ??POV??, AU, After Kidnapping, Alternate Universe, Barry is Len's DAD, Family, Gen, I don't know, Joe's Thoughts, OOC, The Beauty of Fire, Togetherness, Wise Children (Len)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:23:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8005564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GachMoBrea/pseuds/GachMoBrea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Otherwise entitled "So Much Wisdom In Someone So Small" -or even- "Sage Len".</p><p>Chapter 1 - Joe thinks back to the steps that lead him to his current moment. The family sits together before the Allen's and Thompson's have to leave. Len has 'A Talk' with Barry...</p><p>Chapter 2 - Len talks to Mick about the "Beauty of Fire"...</p><p>*Plenty of deep feelings for everyone!*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Joe & "It's not your fault Barry"

Even though Leonard was only Joe's grandson by law, the little boy had burrowed himself deep into his heart.   
Joe had known Barry since he was a kid, playing around with Iris before Wally was even born while Joe talked sports with Henry and Francine swapped recipes with Nora.  
After his wife passed away Joe found himself considering the Allen's his family more than his friends. Them legally becoming family was a bonus.  
Then there was "the accident" and Barry turned superhero on him while the world became that much more crazy. Metahumans and evil scientists running around like they owned the world.

Officer Pivot was a lovely girl. She and Barry hit it off right away. Joe wasn't surprised to find the two being all 'cute' or kissing in the corners of the station.  
Joe was surprised when the young hero showed him a sonogram of a little boy growing in his girlfriend's stomach. The two were equal parts happy and terrified.   
Barry was a whirlwind of emotions during the entire nine months of Patty's pregnancy. Then into the world came Leonard Henry Allen and Joe was able to be in the hospital to take pictures and comment accordingly.  
When he held that little bundle, he knew he was doomed. (for a life of cute)  
The world was brighter and Barry was a ball of energy in everything he did. When they weren't talking about a case, Barry was babbling on about this-and-that Len related. 

Patty's death hit the kid pretty hard.

At the funeral, Barry refused to put Len down. He cradled his son in his arms and refused any offers of relief, as if physically letting go of the boy would mean losing him forever.  
It broke Joe's heart.  
He helped Barry as much as he could, offering up everything that helped him get through the loss of Francine in the hope that it would ease some of the young man's pain. Iris stepped up to help out with Len. Even though Nora and Henry were there to help as well, there were times when neither of Barry's parents could be there in time.  
The more time Iris spent with Barry and Len, the more Joe noticed the young man's eyes softening from the pain and opening up for the future.  
A little over a year later, the two were married.

* *

The detective snaps out of his memories to smile at his family now. Henry and Nora are sitting on the couch opposite Barry and Iris, Len in the middle of the couple. Lisa is leaning over the back of the couch, fingers loosely entwined in the boy's hair. Amy is in the kitchen, making everyone dinner and Joe is in the only arm chair.   
They were talking about the upcoming plans for Len's birthday party. After the horrible scare with the kidnapping, Barry is overeager to make it the 'best birthday party ever'.   
Now, though, now the conversation has died down and they're all just enjoying being together.  
Safe.

"How much longer until dinner?"  
The quiet room breaks into variations of laughter. Len looks up to Lisa who snorts loudly as she pulls her hand out of his hair to cover her mouth. Joe shudders at the red mark on the boy's neck. It's only been a few days since the kidnapping and the cut was healing quickly and it really was only just a mark, but it still made him wish every hurtful thing to the man who put it there.  
"Five more minutes, Lenny!" Amy calls out from the kitchen. "Why don't you have something to drink while you wait?"  
"I got it!" Lisa volunteers, already running to the kitchen. She pauses for a moment to smile at the boy. "I'll even let you use a big kid cup!"  
"Thanks," Len smiles back at her, making the teenager giggle happily and prance the rest of the way to the kitchen.  
Barry takes over the job of running his fingers through Len's hair, his other hand already holding his son's hand.  
'Len's going to be bald before he hits double digits,' Joe can't help but think. Iris seems to read his mind as she takes her husband's free hand to intertwine their fingers. She rests their hands against the top of the couch, her other hand with Len's completing the circle.  
Nora wipes at her eyes for what must be the hundredth time, Henry's arm slung across her back as he smiles at the trio.

 

They have a family dinner. They talk about everything but what happened and Lisa reluctantly goes home with the her mother and the Allen's.  
"I love you." They all tell Len when they hug him goodbye.  
"I love you too." Len tells them back, giving them all long and tight hugs.

 

When it's just the four of them again, Len takes his father's hand and puts him in the armchair to look him in the eyes. Quietly, he asks, "Dad?"  
"Yeah, Len?" Barry smiles at his boy, taking both of his hands in his.  
"Do you feel bad about what happened with the bad man?"  
The room stills. Joe watches his son-in-law grimace in pain before looking away. Iris sighs sadly, moving as if to answer for her husband.  
But Len wasn't done talking, "Because you shouldn't."  
"Len," Iris says gently, stepping over to the boy to rub at his back, but Len keeps his focus on his father. "Your Dad-"  
"Is not responsible for every bad thing that happens to me," Len interrupts her, still staring at Barry. "The bad man told me he took me to get to The Flash. But that doesn't make it Daddy's fault. Those who do wrong are the ones responsible for the bad things they do. No matter their made up reasons."  
Joe wipes at his blurry eyes and clearly sees Barry's own eyes watering. Iris keeps rubbing the boy's back as he continues to watch his dad.  
"Le-" Barry chokes, clears his throat and tries again. "Len. I love you. So, so much."  
"I know," Len nods. "That's why you feel so bad about what happened."  
"Buddy, when someone hurts the ones I love because of who I am." His father shrugs. "I can't help but feel responsible for it."  
"Why?"  
"Why?" Barry finally locks eyes with his son again, confusing warring with his sadness. "What do you mean?"  
"Why do you feel responsible for other people's decisions?"  
"Because I caused them."  
"You told that man to take me?"  
"No!" the hero growls, startling himself and shaking his head. "Sorry."  
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Dad," Len smiles, pulling out one of his hands to pat his father's gently. "But you don't have to."  
Barry chokes on a laugh and Iris smiles as best she can, still crouched by their son's side but she's stopped rubbing his back.  
"You're a hero," Len continues, taking one of Iris's hands to put it with theirs. "In more ways than one."  
"He's certainly my hero," Iris agrees in a soft voice, eyes welling up in tears now.  
"I love you," the boy tells his father firmly, definitively. "I don't want you to feel bad about what happened anymore. I want you to be happy again."  
Barry opens his mouth but nothing comes out, so he shakes his head.  
"Len's right," Iris chimes in, voice stronger than before. "We're a family. Powers or no powers. We can't let other people tear us apart." She holds up their joined hands. "We're stronger together."  
"Together," Len nods, kissing his mother on the cheek before look back at Barry.  
The speedster shakes his head again, but this time he's smiling. He rearranges their hands so that his cover theirs.   
"Together."

Len turns to Joe, "You too, Poppa."  
He laughs as he quickly walks over to them to add his own hands.  
They all repeat, "Together."

\---


	2. Talking to Mick

Len and Mick are at the Raymond household while Firestorm helps out The Flash and Caitlin and Iris babysit. The boys are going through party book ideas to help the almost five year-old decide on a theme.  
"What about a medieval theme party?" Mick asks, pointing to the knight outfits. "I can be the dragon this time!"  
"No thanks," Len shakes his head, turning the page.   
"Underwater?"  
"Too wet."  
"We don't have to have real water."  
"I don't like mermaids."  
"What about a cops and robbers one?"  
"No thanks, I don't want to be a copper and I doubt my Dad will like the idea of me being a prisoner."  
"Fair point," Mick sighs, closing the magazine. He frowns at the cover. It has a large cake covered in lit candles. He mumbles something and Len looks over to him.  
"What's the matter, Mick?"  
"Nothing."  
"If it was nothing, you wouldn't have mumbled."  
"It's just," the older boy sighs, glancing at the mothers to make sure they weren't listening in. Both adults are trying to get Reginald to sit still while they clean the lunch out of his hair, so he lowers his voice to say, "At least you're not afraid of your dad."  
"You're afraid of your dad?" Len frowns at the stupid question. The boy had Pyrophobia, of COURSE he was afraid of his dad. He changes his question, "Or are you afraid of his superhero self?"  
"The flaming man is so scary Len," Mick tells his friend, pulling his knees to his chin. "You're right, I'm not afraid of my DAD, but of who Dad can become."  
"Does he become the flaming man a lot around you?"  
"Not for a long, long time," the older boy admits. "The last time he did, I cried for hours. I couldn't stop shaking whenever he got close to me. I'm better now, I know he won't change around me, but it still scares me."  
Mick pushes his head into his knees. "What's wrong with me?"  
"Nothing."  
Mick's head snaps back up, confused. "What do you mean?"  
"There's nothing WRONG with you, Mick," Len grins. "You're only afraid of fire because you don't know the beauty of it."  
"Fire isn't beautiful, Len," his friend grumbles unhappily. "It's hot and destructive and it can only hurt you."  
"Then you must like all your food cold."  
"Well...No..."  
"Then you must like freezing you butt off in winter."  
"Not really."  
"You need fire to cook and keep warm, Mick."  
"I know that," Mick rolls his eyes, still looking unhappy. "But that kind of fire comes from special machines. I stay far, far, far away from the oven when Mom cooks and I never, ever, ever go near the boiler room."  
"I don't want you to start playing with fire," Len chuckles. "I'm just going to show you the beauty of it."  
"Show me?" the older boy repeats. "What are you talking about? We can't play with fire! I don't even touch match boxes!"  
"You boys okay in there?" Caitlin calls out, the baby wrapped in a towl now as Iris cleans out the soapy sink.  
"Fine!" Len calls back cheerily. He pats Mick on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm not going to start fires around you and hope that you get over your fear. I like you too much to do something that stupid."  
"Then what are you going to do?"   
"Steps."

 

"We're going upstairs for a few minutes, momma!" Len tells Iris as he stands. "Is that okay with you Auntie Caitlin?"  
The scientist giggles as Iris smiles at the title. "That's fine. Be careful on the stairs!"  
"We will!" he assures her, taking the lead, Mick following curiously behind.

Len leads the boy to the other's bedroom. There, he finds a flashlight before closing the blinds and the door, then turning off the lights.  
"Len?"  
"Yes, Mick?"  
"Why are we standing in a dark room?"  
"Are you afraid of the dark?"  
"No," his friend says defensively. "I was just wondering."  
"It's okay. Being afraid is never the problem."  
"Then what's the problem?"  
"Not being able to get over your fear."  
"Can't we do that where it's a little brighter?"  
Len chuckles a little at the slightly strained tone of the other boy.  
"Do you know what chases away the shadows?"  
"A light."  
"Yes. Can you name some kinds of lights?"  
"Why do I feel like I'm in school?"  
"Just answer the question, Mick."  
"I better get an 'A' for this."  
"Mick."  
"Fine," the older boy grumbles. "There are headlights, light bulbs, flashlights-Hey! You have a flashlight! Why don't you turn it on already?"  
Len turns the flashlight on. It blinds the two boys for a second but then they both smile at each other.  
"Isn't playing in the dark better when you have a little light?" Mick asks, looking and sounding relieved.  
"But what happens when the power goes out or the batteries die?" Len asks with a wolfish grin. He turns the flashlight back off.  
"You're not a very good friend, Len."  
"This is for your own good."  
"I'm beginning to doubt that."  
"Fire illuminates." Len turns the flashlight back on. "It can reveal things hidden away."  
"Or you can have a generator and a massive supply of batteries," his partner counters.  
"All things man-made fail at one point or another. Natural light will always be there."  
Mick turns the lights back on.  
"So fire can illuminate things," the older boy states. "But it's still dangerous."  
"So is driving but we still want to do it when we grow up."  
"That's different."  
"Only in some ways."  
"Are you secretly a mage or something?"  
Len chuckles again, tossing the flashlight on the bed as he opens the curtains again.   
"I just know a lot about fear. How you can't let it control you."  
"I wish I could just turn it off," Mick grumbles unhappily. "I wish I was the opposite of pyrodopofic."  
"Pyrophobic."  
"Whatever."  
"And you can be."  
Mick sighs, "Sure, Len. Whatever you say."  
"I told you before, the only problem with fear is not being able to get over it."  
"Len. Stop. It won't work."  
"Courage means the ability to do something that frightens you."  
"I can never go near fire. It's too hard!"  
"You can do anything you want to do as long as you have the will to try."  
A knock on the door interrupts them.  
"Boys?" Caitlin's voice speaks through the door. "Is everything okay in there? We heard shouting."  
"Fine!" Mick opens the door for his mother, pasting a large smile on his face as he looks up at her. "We were just messing around. Sorry if we got too loud."  
"It's okay," Caitlin smiles back. "You weren't too, too loud. I just wanted to make sure."

As the woman turns to go back downstairs, Len gets hit with a sudden burst of inspiration. He nearly shouts, "Auntie Caitlin?"   
"Yes, Len?" she turns back to him.  
"Can I borrow a tablet with internet, please?" he asks with his 'sweetest' voice.  
"Uh, well," Caitlin worriedly thinks about that before eventually nodding. "Okay. I guess that would be alright."  
"Thank you!" he smiles brightly at her. "I promise to only go on it for a few minutes. I want to show Mick this really cool video about these guys making the world record basketball shot!"  
"That sounds really cool," the scientist sounds just as excited as the boy as she gets the device from her room nearby. "The science behind that is extraordinary, really."  
"Mo~om," Mick playfully whines as the parent hands his friend the device.   
"Right, okay," Caitlin laughs. "No science."  
"Thanks!" Len chirps, pulling up the video.  
"Don't let me catch you watching inappropriate things on that," the woman warns the boys. With their nod, she finally goes back downstairs.

Len waits until he can't hear her on the stairs before pulling up the video he actually wanted to use. It's a 'real life' fireplace and he turns it to Mick.  
It startles the older boy for only a second before he rolls his eyes.  
"I know it isn't the real deal," Len admits, leaning the device against the dresser. "But if you can handle this, then we're another step closer to building up your courage."  
"It's just a picture of fire."  
"Then you won't be afraid to touch it."  
Mick grimaces, but gets down on his knees next to Len to slowly reach his hand towards the screen. He quickly touches it, then pulls his hand back. "There."  
"I thought you said it was just a picture."  
"I feel like an idiot touching a screen."  
"Then I'll touch it with you."  
Len takes his hand and brings both of their fingers to touch the 'roaring fire'.  
"It's not the same," Mick mumbles, watching the uppermost flames flicker over the tips of his fingers. "It's not hot. It's not dangerous. It's just a picture. I'm not afraid of pictures."  
"But you still hesitated," Len points out, then he grins. "Now you're not."  
"Huh," Mick relaxes as Len pulls his hand away, he keeps his on the screen. "I still feel like an idiot."  
"You're not an idiot," his friend tells him. "Now, take the tablet in your hand and look closely at the flames."  
Mick does as ordered and stares at the screen. "Now what?"  
"Look at the fire."  
He does for a while, then repeats, "Now what?"  
"Do you see how the flames dance?"  
"I guess?" Mick shrugs. "It just looks like they go up and down or side to side."  
"Isn't that the same as dancing?"  
"How should I know? I'm not a dancer, Len."  
"What if I added a beat?" Len starts tapping his hands in a steady rhythm, making the video's fire appear to catch on to the sound and move accordingly. "I'm not singing though."  
"It's still just a picture of fire."  
"And what is fire?"  
"Hot. Bad. Destruction."  
"You've got a lot left to learn then."  
Mick sighs, putting the device down. "This isn't going to work, Len. Can we just go back to playing? I don't want to talk about it anymore."  
"One more thing and I'll stop. I promise."  
The older boy sighs again, "Fine."

Len closes down the video before pulling Mick's hand a little to get him to follow him to the family's small, personal library. Once there, Len pulls out a dictionary and puts it on the small desk in the room. He places his hand on the top of it as he looks over to his friend. "Do you know what this is?"  
"A dictionary."  
"Right," Len pats the book a few times. "Dictionaries have scientific definitions for what a fire is, but," he raises his finger, "Fire, it's undefinable. Heat, light, energy. It's an evolution when things burn."  
"All fire does is turn things to ashes," Mick counters with a frown, shoving his hands into his pockets. "What can those horrible flames possibly evolve?"  
"You like dragons and knights, right?"  
"Yeah," the older boy grins a little. "They're cool! I want to get a real sword when I grow up!"  
"How do you think swordsmiths make their swords?"  
"I don't know."  
"They have to melt the metal in extreme heat," Len grins. "You need fire to do that."  
Mick frowns unhappily, "But those bright white and reddish flames," he shivers unpleasantly. "It's so dangerous."  
"Most people think the hottest part of the flame is the white part." Len pauses a moment. "They're wrong."   
"What do you mean?" his friend is still frowning, hands clearly clenching and unclenching even though they're deep in his pockets. "The white part is the biggest part, it HAS to be the hottest."  
"Actually," Len counters with a small tilt of his head. "the hottest part of the flame is the blue part. That is where the flame has the most oxygen and you are getting complete combustion. The reddish part is the coolest part."  
"Okay, fine. That's the hottest part." Mick shrugs. "Whatever."  
"I'm not done yet. The blue part, the hottest part, is near the bottom. At its core."   
Mick looks at him, completely lost, "So?"  
"Where the wick is. Where the candle is."  
"I still don't get it."  
"The flame would die without oxygen, but a single flame also doesn't have a chance without support. A wick, a candle, the things holding it. Even in forest fires, there has to be something TO burn."  
Len patiently waits for his words to sink in.  
"Okay..." Mick pulls his thumbs out of his pockets with another shrug. "But what does that have to do with anything?"  
"Your dad's powers don't just come from his fire. He has support. You and your mom, even Reggie, that is his support. When he feels sad or weak or he can't go on, you re-ignite his flame. You make him stronger. You help him be a hero."  
That shocks the older boy a little. His hands come completely out of his pockets as he slowly starts to understand.  
"I'm...part of his flame?"  
"A very important part, Mick," Len smiles at him. "You're the blue."  
The older boy's eyes widen in awe, "Wow."  
"And last I checked," the younger boy continues. "There's nothing scary about you."

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not to Readers: Still confused? Wish we'd get to Barry-meets-Barry? Well......  
> Bwahaheheheha! ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> {I own nothing.}


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